Machinations of Hoodrat Socialists
The unemployed, single mother goose raised her brood without the financial support of the Gander and his well-to-do family and relations.
Her Social Security payments hardly fostered cheerful conditions at home in the inner city. Class differences flourish amid poverty and tax hikes, a lot like slender speedwell on a suburban lawn.
It comes as no surprise, therefore, that the Goose raised her goslings as ambitious, society-minded little Socialists.
In their youth, all members of the the brood were punk hooligans and Robin Hoods, who through small thievery and a variety of petty crimes, earned the family’s daily bread. All members of the brood, that is, but one: the youngest Gosling, who was not only openly Capitalist but also religiously-minded.*
For his fifth birthday, he received a Bible. For his seventh, he received a prayer rug. It was shortly thereafter that he decided to join the Cistercian Order and become a monk, to which the family was strongly opposed. Nevertheless, every night the youngest Gosling whispered a prayer to heaven:
Lord in Heaven, Oh sweet Lord
I don’t want no silver bullet, no Panacea
Just dun brown monk’s robes,
just some dun brown monk’s robes.
Alas, the prayer was never realized. Before the end of the fiscal quarter, the youngest Gosling died unexpectedly. Untrained in the ways of the hood, he had been caught in a twilight crossfire between two rival gangs of Bantam roosters.**
He received no obituary because geese control no major media outlets.
Later, he would posthumously idealized and immortalized in the hearts & minds of many Socialist geese as, of all things, a martyr for the cause.***
*Suffice to say he was a believer in church and state.
**It was reported that the fight had been racially motivated.
***Courtesy of the machinations of his broodmates, senior members of the Hoodrat Socialist Party.